Looking for a Miracle: My heart remains shattered

Looking for a Miracle: My heart remains shattered: My heart remains shattered glass constantly drawing blood from my soul. I have lost the love of my life my soul mate. I pray for miracles da...

Tonight I have been thinking a lot about what it was like to lay next to you with your back against me and how I sometimes couldn't tell where you began and I ended. Someday if God sees fit to bring you back to me I hope we can read this and you can see how much you truly mean to me. Tomorrow I am taking a trip to the Shrine of Saint Pio. I have been praying to both him and St Jude every night. I don't know what else to do. I pray for you that God heals what is inside you that made you push everyone away. I love you.

The days remain long and cold and the night worse. I wonder about her every second, I pray for her every day and I pray to God and all the saints that she returns to me. I feel that we never gave us the shot we needed to. She was my best friend, lover, & soul mate. She is the first word on my mouth in the morning and the last at night. Without her there is simply no meaning in my life. I love and miss her beyond words.

My heart remains shattered

My heart remains shattered glass constantly drawing blood from my soul. I have lost the love of my life my soul mate. I pray for miracles daily to bring her back into my life so that I can treat her right and take care of her. I was told I loved her too much-is that possible? Could Jesus have loved us too much? My life is empty without her. I worry for her every second of the day and I miss her in ways I had not thought I would. My best friend my lover and my soul mate. I pray St. Jude, Padre Pio, and our Virgin Mother intercede on my behalf and return her to my love. Amen

Looking for Laura

It has been 6-weeks without contact and any contact I have made with her (lways by email) despite the intentions of my emails to just help her save her home have been turned in by her to the DA violating the PFA. She knows that such a problems for me could cost my custody of my girls. She allowed her daughter to move I with her father some 100 miles away and in the same week ended our marriage by text and had the police escort me from the property.
I don't understand unless this is part of the terrible childhood trauma she suffered. Either wy it doesn't natter in the tim we had been together I never as much as looked at or thought of another famili(es). I beyond loved her I adored he I wanted to spend every second with her. Anyway she never came home from work 6 weeks ago and had the deputies removem the house, I was arrested, went to jail and now have fines. After all that she made up her mind to give up custody of her children and begin to start staying with some very promiscuous co-workers.
The point is we were so amazing when we were doing well. I do beg her to come back but it is God's will.
To be clear I am deeply in love with this lady and pray to the angels, the saint especially Pare Pio, & St. Jude, The virgin Mary, and the lord himself. She is a wonderful person with issues but I'd have helped her out and loved the privilege of doing so. I am praying 2 Novenas on to St Jude and one to Padre Pio. I have evoked my guardian angel, whose name I think is Stephanie, to speak with her and bring our family back to order.
Thank you my lord
Scott

The point of this blog is to document the heartbreak I have been suffering since my beautiful wonderful wife went away. While at one time I would have said our fights were 100% my fault I now know that it took two to tango. I was a trying person to be with but I adored my wife. I have often said I was caring, loving, attentive, concerned, interested, attracted, and any other adj a good husband needs to be. My wife may have some issues from childhood and I should have worked harder to accommodate her issues. I am also very insecure possible due to some PTSD I experienced and also because in the early stages of our relationship she tried very had to prove to me I was not needed in her life and she would be fine without me. Eventually I believed her but that led to a great deal of insecurity, suspicion, and at time a lack of trust. I admit this and have been working day and night to address these shortcomings.
Any way in order to have me leave her home she filled a PFA which now means no contact by me for a year. I don't know what to do, I don't simply love her I adore her, even after all the things she has done through the courts tat were not necessary and could have landed me in jail. I sent an email to her offering to pay her house taxes-she gave it to the DA in an attempt to have me placed in jail-again.
I am SURE this is not other man and I believe the perfect storm in her life, turning 50, losing custody of her 1 child to her ex, some divorced friends telling her how great divorce is, and me being all to easy a target.
The rub is I love her. I have 2 novenas going right now for her return, St. Jude & St. Pio (Padre Pio). I plan a pilgrimage to his shrine in PA next week. I am so miserable and lost without her life has far less pleasure and meaning without her.
Laura I adore you and always will.