The point of this blog is to document the heartbreak I have been suffering since my beautiful wonderful wife went away. While at one time I would have said our fights were 100% my fault I now know that it took two to tango. I was a trying person to be with but I adored my wife. I have often said I was caring, loving, attentive, concerned, interested, attracted, and any other adj a good husband needs to be. My wife may have some issues from childhood and I should have worked harder to accommodate her issues. I am also very insecure possible due to some PTSD I experienced and also because in the early stages of our relationship she tried very had to prove to me I was not needed in her life and she would be fine without me. Eventually I believed her but that led to a great deal of insecurity, suspicion, and at time a lack of trust. I admit this and have been working day and night to address these shortcomings.
Any way in order to have me leave her home she filled a PFA which now means no contact by me for a year. I don't know what to do, I don't simply love her I adore her, even after all the things she has done through the courts tat were not necessary and could have landed me in jail. I sent an email to her offering to pay her house taxes-she gave it to the DA in an attempt to have me placed in jail-again.
I am SURE this is not other man and I believe the perfect storm in her life, turning 50, losing custody of her 1 child to her ex, some divorced friends telling her how great divorce is, and me being all to easy a target.
The rub is I love her. I have 2 novenas going right now for her return, St. Jude & St. Pio (Padre Pio). I plan a pilgrimage to his shrine in PA next week. I am so miserable and lost without her life has far less pleasure and meaning without her.
Laura I adore you and always will.